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Calladita Te Miras Mas Bonita/You Look Prettier When You’re Quiet
A popular and often used idiom as we raise our girls into adulthood. It is repeated often, and the intonation of when it is uttered is either a veiled threat to quiet down “or else”, or a veiled compliment reminder to continue to stay quiet. It conflates the notion of physical beauty and expression — creating the internal, eternal conflict of having voice or being beautiful.
This is the space we were always conditioned to take. Silence.
Bite your tongue so often the metallic taste of blood seasons your appetite.
Our contained voice emerges in other ways, often addressed as stereotypical Latina. Colorful fashion, red lipstick, thick eyeliner, large hoop earrings- a want to be seen even when our voice is perpetually silenced. A nod to the social rule of quietness and also a middle finger-everything else will be loud. A way to rebel while still minding our manners. This is how we take up space.
And if you examine our long traditional and regional dress, vibrant embroideries, rose crowns above our heads, the circumference of our skirts, all of it demands your attention. We even pierce our daughters’ ears as infants, buying them sparkling gemstones before they utter their first word.
Our voice rings loud when we hide it behind a traditional song, when the words don’t belong to me but belong to us. A way to express feelings without feeling responsibility for vulnerability. Especially when the mariachi shows up with their golden horns and tight embroidered pants- a hat so large upon their head and the shiniest of buttons down their legs and our drunkenness allows our voice to “Ay Ay Ay!” with traditional songs.
On Mexican Independence day (not cinco de mayo) what everyone awaits in celebration is “El Grito!” or the shout. Another nod to the power of our voice that is conditioned to wait for a special occasion.
This loud silence continues to play itself out here, in the United States, as our population numbers grow, as we continue to contribute to this American society in roles that allow us to not be seen, to keep our voice at a low lull. The line cooks at your favorite restaurant that you don’t see on cooking shows and won’t be earning that Michelin star, the…
